momjeansmp3:

i just know that he’s happy

too-haught-haught-damn:

black-culture:

Yeah sex is cool but have you ever been on tumblr before December 17 2018?

xelamanrique318:

papa-peach:

unclefather:

unclefather:

mcr-piiots:

petearmawentz:

unfaggy:

coolhotdad:

my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.

bluelipbalm:

marmalayde:

bluelipbalm:

bluelipbalm:

I am a simple woman. I see an evil fictional man who shows the slightest hint of being a decent person and I go wild

fictional man: *is evil and participates in evil activities*

Same man: *shows tenderness towards loved ones/draws the line at certain evil acts/ shows any kind of positive emotion*

Me:

Its ok you can just say megamind

This post is in fact about megamind

unsaltedpeanutbutter:

wembleyfraggles:

wembleyfraggles:

im washing me and my clothes bitch

She drunk as fuck

snakegay:

there is nothing you can say that will make me stop occasionally putting a q tip in my ear to remove ear wax. i know the ear is self cleaning. i know it doesnt need to be done at all, and in rare cases where earwax buildup actually does need to be removed this is absolutely not the way. i know theres a risk of serious injury to the inner ear. i know there is no material benefit and it can only do harm. but heres the deal: i dont care. im fully aware and im going to do it anyway. im fucking crazy.. but im free